20SB Blog Swap: That Sound You Hear? Yeah, That Was My Heart Breaking Just A Bit

Good morning my freaky darlings, if you’re looking for me I’m actually over here today. My new friend Heather has taken over for the blog swap  and her post made me wish I could hug this woman. She’s done a brave thing here so treat her with respect in your comments please. Ta ta lovelies.

Blog swapping is a glorious idea, right?! Well, of course it is. What better way to meet new people, and rack your brain into the wee hours of the morning? It’s like college all over again! Oh dear.Perhaps I should introduce myself, before blathering any further. I’m Heather from Mad Madam Mim’s Mimsy, and this is my first guest post. So, be gentle. The proprietor of this here blog has pretty much given me free reign, and I’m driving myself mad with possibilities.

I am the self proclaimed Queen of Comparisons. So, upon snooping around for a couple of days, I’ve discovered that Kendall and I have a good bit in common. I’ve even adopted him as my “tall, black twin”! I know. Exciting, right? Anyhow- most of our similarities fall into the preference category. However, I did find that we share one very significant experience. Sexual abuse.

That experience is why I’ve decided to write about resilience. It’s something that has always inspired me, and something we all have in common. No matter how unpleasant, mortifying or damaging an experience has been, we all have the ability to bounce back – to absorb and release. The alternative, one that I don’t fair well with, is resistance.

I tried to resist the fact that I was molested for a span of about six years, by a trusted family member. I was too young to understand, and at some point blocked it out. Six years after the abuse had ended, at the age of fourteen, I had a flashback. It was like a horrible nightmare. Like watching a dirty movie that I unwillingly played a role in. It was, to say the least, debilitating. It took me quite a while to reach the point of accepting what happened to me, to tell someone, and to bounce back.

For about a year, I questioned God. Someone I’d always believed in, but felt separated from. He didn’t seem a whole lot different to me than my biological father. Sure, he had an obvious hand in my creation, but he was nowhere to be found.

It took me a little over thirteen years to really come to grips with all the things that had happened to me as a child. All the things I had no say in, or control over. Thirteen years, and I was finally able to understand where God was when all those horrible things were going on, and to start absorbing the good that could be extracted from that evil. Thirteen years to stop feeling sorry for myself, and to develop a real relationship with God.

Today, I am thankful for the gift of resilience, and inspired when I see it in others. Mostly in children and animals. It’s why I paint/create. All the ugly things in this world can’t stop us from thriving on the beauty.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” -Helen Keller

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