Home > Uncategorized > And I’m Not Even Blaming My Dog

And I’m Not Even Blaming My Dog

Dear Internet,

I know. I know. I haven’t written anything since Thursday and even that was just passing along the Kreativ Blogger Award. I have an excuse and I promise it’s better than any cock-and-bull story you ever told your teachers/parents/bosses/various disappointees.

As some of you may or may not know, I kind of had a packed weekend between Daybreak’s 4th birthday party yesterday morning/afternoon at her Grandma’s and the Haunted Lab Friday night and last night.


7:25 Educational Theory Lecture

9:00 Theater Appreciation – usually a fun class as there is a lot of improv but this was mostly a lecture day. I ended up surfing the internet instead of listening. Oops. Did watch the last two acts of Medea though. All throughout, “Cruella De Vil” was playing through my head.

12:00-3:30: In the Lab building, making a maze, hanging plastic to block off hallways, decorating each individual scene. I have never had to move so many tables in my life.

3:30-4:30: Me and The Ginger hit up places like the mall, Wal Mart, Target, trying to sell ourselves. The Ginger got hit on. As she was wearing a short white dress with a good bit of cleavage showing, she was hit on a lot. She was pissed; I was amused.

4:30-5:00: Eat a free chick fil-a sandwich and change into costumes, I practice with the chainsaw so I can start it within 20 seconds easily.

5:30-10:30: Showtime!

11:00: get home, catch up on missed calls, shower, then bed


7:30-9: I make Daybreak a batch of cupcakes for her birthday then meet her and Eva for breakfast at Perkin’s in Durham. Yet again, I am the only black person in the joint. Eva makes many jokes at this. After that we hit the road for Eva’s mom’s place for the party.

9:30: Road trip to Eva’s mom’s for the party.

10:30-3:30: Arrive, help set up, the most hilarious game of duck-duck-goose ever, food, cake, presents, everyone mingles outside on the deck, at this point I have to head back for the second night of the haunted house.

5:00: Back in costume, chainsaw primed and ready, looking forward to chasing screamers across the parking lot again

7:24: I am chasing a woman down the sidewalk when I fail to the notice a puddle. My right leg slides inward and I hit the ground. Hard. End up spraining the knee. To my further embarrassment, this is caught on tape.

8:00: I have found a replacement and taught him what to do. I take over as a tour guide for the portion of our haunted house taking place in the woods. My basic job was to make my group of 10-15 people more paranoid than they all ready were. Judging by the shrieks and scattering later, I think I did my job well.

10:00: We pack it in for the night and we get to hear our total earnings for both nights. Over two grand, folks! That means we had over 400 people come through which is amazing.

10:30: We’re all hungry so we take about seven cars and basically take over the local Chico’s until 12 when we’re pretty much kicked out.

12:30: Finally home. Shower immediately then straight to bed.

Best quotes of the weekend:

M: What’s up negro…oh snap, you really are black! My bad, my bad.

K: (the most deadpan voice ever) Oh no, I been bit.

Me: (after hearing one girl say the haunted house wasn’t so bad) We’ll see about that. (run from my hiding spot with chainsaw in hand, scattering and screaming ensue)

Scared Girl: I’m not scared. I’m not scared.
Me (walking behind her with the chainsaw in the parking lot) Then why are you walking so fast?
Scared Girl: I’m not scared! (I rev the motor) AHHHHH! (takes off)

Me: We need to hit up Wal-Mart.
The Ginger: Why?
Me: Because there is no other place as scary. Just think of the mullets.

Daybreak: Papa, when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?

Eva(dancing with me at the party): I’m surprised Daybreak let me have you to myself for a few minutes.
Me: Your mom is excellent distraction.
Eva: Amen to that.

Shaner: Our MVP of the night, the man who had us laughing our asses off as he took off after people with a chainsaw. He made one man twice his size run to his car and lock himself in. Our psycho clown, Kendall A—.
Me: (standing up in the restaurant) You like me. (wipes away a fake tear) You really do like me.

So see Internet, I have a perfectly viable excuse for the lack of updates the last few days.

Better than saying “my dog ate them”.

Marching to the beat of my own drum,

– Kendall (The Odd Duck)

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , ,
  1. Shelly...
    October 26, 2008 at 2:14 PM

    My god that was an action packed weekend!
    I have NEVER been to a haunted house and I don’t think I ever will. I would probably pee my pants and curl up in a fetal position!

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