Home > Uncategorized > Wednesday Workshop: The Day My World Stood Still

Wednesday Workshop: The Day My World Stood Still

It’s that time again, folks. My assignment from Mama Kat this week goes as follows:

5.) The first time you…

It was tempting to put the story of my first kiss here but I’m not up for embarrassing myself today. I’ll just say that I was dense and leave it at that. So instead I chose a day that snowballed events to where they are now.

Most dads consider the first time their child calls them dad or some equivalent one of their landmark moments. I’m no different, even if my moment was unorthodox.

5…4…3…2…1…

It was Eva’s backyard; she, Daybreak, and I were sitting on a blanket in the grass. Me and Eva had our psych notes out quizzing each other, while Daybreak used my back as a steady for her colouring book. I was about to ask her what the signs of sociopathy in children are when Daybreak says clearly, “Papa, can you move? You’re not in the Sun.”

I froze. Eva looked to the small blond perched on my back. “Daybreak, who are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Papa.”

“Daybreak, I’m not your papa.”

She moved to sit down in front of us and tilted her head to the side. “Why not?”

Her mom took up the explanation when I couldn’t. “It doesn’t work like that Sweetie. Kendall is our friend. “

The first bits of tears were welling up in her eyes. And with every one, my heart hurt just a little bit more.

She looked me in the eye and asked why I didn’t want her either. I sat up and hugged her. “I can only be your friend because you deserve a much better papa than me. You deserve the best.”

Small arms wrapped around my neck as she started to cry in earnest. I heard her mumble “really?” into my shoulder. Eva was stroking her back and as I was telling Daybreak yes I noticed Eva giving me a strange look.

She ended up crying herself to sleep that afternoon.

That was the middle of April. I was terrified that this little girl adored me so much that she would want me to be her dad. A little tidbit about me folks, I more often think with my heart than my head and I love people quickly. This was no different.

I told Daybreak she deserved better than me. That makes my job simple to figure out.

I have to become better.

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Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,
  1. Diane
    November 12, 2008 at 12:18 PM

    Good God, man. First, STOP making me cry. Second, you’re doing your job beautifully… XO

  2. X.T.
    November 12, 2008 at 4:42 PM

    That is the sweetest thing I have ever read. Daybreak sounds like quite the child; you’re a very lucky person.

  3. Mel
    November 12, 2008 at 5:40 PM

    Aw! The first bits of tears are welling up in my eyes now!

  4. Tricia
    November 12, 2008 at 6:08 PM

    I have a hard time imagining anyone ‘better’ for her than you are. I don’t know where you’d come up with such a silly notion. Now stop it!

  5. Vanessa Rogers
    November 12, 2008 at 7:22 PM

    I really like the quote at the top of your blog. It is beautiful. cool blog.

  6. little miss optimist
    November 12, 2008 at 10:26 PM

    I agree with Tricia. You are the PERFECT father to her, and it’s obvious you love her like she is your own, I really can’t imagine anyone better than you are for her!

  7. Miss Tiff
    November 12, 2008 at 11:37 PM

    Aw.. This so made me cry. You’re doing a great job with her stop doubting yourself

  8. The Odd Duck
    November 13, 2008 at 1:24 AM

    That was months ago, me and Eva weren’t even dating yet. I think I do OK, no one is perfect but thanks for the sentiment anyway. I dealt with most of my doubt over the summer.

  9. Maki
    November 13, 2008 at 4:40 AM

    Aww what a beautiful story! So moving – you are a great man!!!! Little one knows that you are:)

    Thanks so much for stopping by – I will definitely come back, stay in touch okay???

  10. girlgriot
    November 13, 2008 at 5:30 AM

    Wow, what a lovely story. It’s interesting, isn’t it, that we are the ones who are supposed to be all ‘grown’ and everything, and yet these basic things like love and trust and recognizing your family can be such minefields for us, while a three year old can see right through to what’s real? Wonderful.

  11. Sometimes Sophia
    November 13, 2008 at 2:09 PM

    You can’t make these things up. What a touching story. You’re a good man, Kendall.

  12. Amy McMean a.k.a McSunshine
    November 13, 2008 at 8:36 PM

    A lesser man would have said nothing to comfort her, he would have been to concerned about himself. Thanks for sharing

  13. Tiffany
    November 13, 2008 at 10:24 PM

    That was beautiful. Sounds like you’re becoming that better man you imagine.

  14. Sam
    November 13, 2008 at 10:27 PM

    oh. Do you know, I think that you are better than you think.

  15. J Cosmo Newbery
    November 14, 2008 at 12:49 AM

    Very thoughtful, heartfelt. Thank you.

  16. Jay @halftime lessons
    November 14, 2008 at 1:22 AM

    You have a great way with words…well done.
    Jay @ HalftimeLessons.com

  17. Caren
    November 14, 2008 at 3:26 PM

    Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing that with us.

  18. Mama Kat
    November 14, 2008 at 10:04 PM

    Oh my gosh! This is beautiful!!! What a sweetheart…both of you.

  19. kisatrtle
    November 15, 2008 at 2:39 AM

    I’m a little weepy today and this didn’t help. Great post!

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