Home > Uncategorized > You’re Not A Guy, You’re A Kendall

You’re Not A Guy, You’re A Kendall

I’m a wee bit old fashioned. I’ll admit it.

I was raised by an 80 year-old Spanish woman and two lesbians, so I grew up…oddly. Of those three, only one is still alive but sadly moved back to Boston in January.

Because of them, I am a very polite individual by nature. Until the time I was 15, I would stand whenever a female left the table. I kid you not. I always say please and thank you and I use the words sir and ma’am a lot. If I am walking out a door and I even see someone who might use it as well, even if they’re 20 seconds away, I will stop and hold it for them. I can’t help it.

I did not know quite how to take it when The Ginger told me I was too nice when I held the door for someone.

This also applies to my relationships.

I couldn’t do a one-night stand. I’m not even sure I could pull a “friends with benefits” type deal. I highly doubt it. Cheating is out of the question.

Maybe rape did have some positive effects. I don’t see sex as just something to do nor do I try and sleep with everything in a skirt. Despite rumours to the contrary. I need to love someone to be intimate with them. I spent far too long thinking of myself as used goods to cheapen the act.

Is it really that strange for a 20 year-old guy NOT to sleep around?

Eva was amazed that it took me as long as I did to get to that point. I remember one particular fight over the summer where I tried to explain to her why I didn’t have sex with her and how it was not because I did not find her attractive. I just…wasn’t in love with her yet.

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.”

Am I naive?


But I like being able to look in the mirror and not see “used goods” anymore.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , ,
  1. Erin
    November 28, 2008 at 7:10 PM

    I don’t find it naive at all. I think it’s refreshing to find men who aren’t all about sleeping around.

    The thing about sex is that it’s a personal choice. How you live your sex life is very personal. Some people can do the sleeping around thing…I never could. It doesn’t make me prude, it just means I have a different mentality surrounding sex.

  2. little miss optimist
    November 29, 2008 at 7:34 AM

    I think it’s wonderful you were raised the way you were, cause there are not enough gentleman around. I don’t think you are naive, and I think it is great that you wait until you are in love. Some people can do the whole sex is physical with no attachments thing, but some people have too much attachments and emotions invested, or simply just value it more. I think it’s great you can’t do a one night stand or cheat…I wish more guys were like you honestly.

  3. amindinmotown
    December 2, 2008 at 10:35 PM

    I think when it comes to sex, people are welcome to have their own views of it. And there’s nothing wrong with being a gentleman. There are definitely too few of them out there!

    Your sex life is something personal and if you choose to wait to love someone, then that’s your decision. Is it “abnormal” for a 20-year-old guy? No, but it’s unfortunately not the norm, but it’s not the norm for most 20 year olds regardless of gender. I, for one, made a conscious effort to not have love and sex attached, but that was the result of watching too many girl friends cry after they had sex with a boy they “loved” and he broke off the relationship. I didn’t want that. But that’s my decision, just as yours is. To each their own as far as I’m concerned.

  1. September 28, 2010 at 12:40 PM

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