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TMI Thursday: A New Use for Boobs

I have been asked by the fantabulous Chelsea over at Chelsea Talks Smack what my most embarrassing moment is. As The Bait is fond of saying, “life is just a series of one embarrassing moment to another.” For those of you with easily upset stomachs, you may want to stop now. And the ladies who wear even slightly low cut tops might stop after this.

If that last sentece doesn’t sound wrong, I don’t know what does.

But I digress.

For those of you who’ve been reading for a while, you know I have stomach issues. So last November, the stress of finals kind of had me looking like death warmed over. Since this post is all about TMI I’ll go ahead and tell you that I had not kept anything down for two days at the time of this story aside from water. Even that was touch and go at times.  If that weren’t enough, I had started to come down with a rather nasty case of flu.

So Eva, bless her cotton socks, comes by one day to check on me as she hasn’t heard from me in a few days. She brings me some crackers to try and get food into my stomach and then sits with me on the bed for a bit after I had eaten what I could.

She leans down to kiss my forehead when I feel my stomach clench.

I try to tell her to hand me the wastebasket beside the bed but as soon as I open my mouth a stream of vomit comes out and finds a new home. Down my girlfriend’s tank top.

Hello moritfication, it’s me Kendall. Me and you got to be really good friends that day.

Eva stares down at her formerly white top, gives me the most exasperated look imaginable and then says, “I’ve used my boobs and bra as a cell phone holder and wallet. Hell, I’ve used them to get out of a ticket. This, this is a new one for me.”

The only thing that made this anything other than a complete disaster was the fact that she has several changes of clothes in my closet.

As she took out a new shirt and headed to take a shower all I could do was hide under my comforter and hope to high heaven that it was all a NyQuil-induced nightmare.

It wasn’t.

So what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done?


  1. February 5, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Aww. And she’s still with you? That’s great. Ha.

  2. February 5, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Welcome to TMI Thursday, chica! The least-exclusive club in the world. 🙂

    Also, THIS is my new favorite phrase: “bless her cotton socks”

  3. February 5, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    Oh damn, that sucks! Well, it’s not like you were drunk or something, because then it would have been your own damn fault and a jerk move 😛 Buuuut this was legitimately not your fault.
    Will make a fabulous story to tell later in life 😛

  4. February 5, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    This post almost ruined boobs for me.

    Almost. I’m over it.

  5. Eva
    February 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    Aww babe, that glare was so half-assed even Daybreak’s are taken more seriously. This is also why I started leaving bras at your place as well.

  6. February 5, 2009 at 10:35 PM

    That has got to be very embarrassing, but at least it was with someone who will forgive you. I guess it could have been worse, like if you were in a job interview 🙂 I have had lots of embarrassing moments. Recently I fell down the stairs three times in front of my students. They even started to worry about me. (I was wearing new shoes that were obviously not good with the traction)

  7. February 5, 2009 at 11:24 PM

    mmmmm… you are making me hungry for crackers… 🙂

    lol on Eva’s comment…

  8. splendidmishap
    February 7, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    haha, oh wow. That was pretty gross….even for me. I have a weak stomach when it comes to puking. I’m never the friend who holds my girlfriends hair back as she hurls, I would hurl too.
    She is a good girlfriend for laughing it off.

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