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I Could So Hump Verizon Right Now

When a group of my friends rescued me from studying for an upcoming bio lab exam by inviting me to come play pool, I jumped at the break.

Playing pool? Awesome.

Drinking vanilla malts? Even more awesome.

Earning money from suckers who play against me while drinking said malt? We’re breaking the scales people, breaking the scales.

So after we realized we had run up a $30 tab, that was our cue to head out.

So it’s about 12 in the morning and none of us really want to head home yet even though we’d been hanging out since 9. One of my buddies, we’ll call him C, says we can start a bonfire behind his house in the sticks and hang for a while with some drinks.

We were playing charades when the conversation turns to Friday the 13th superstition. Me, being an idiot, say it’s a crock. Basically saying that Murphy was all in people’s heads. At that moment, Murphy looked down upon me and says, “Oh really?”

I drive back to the bar as we carpooled to C’s field.When the person leaves, I turn my ignition to head home myself. No go. I crank it again. Still nothing. So the bartender says she can give me a jump if I have cables. Always. I rig them up and even after 20 minutes of juice, my battery is still every bit as dead as it was to start with.

Then I remember that I have Verizon Roadside Assistance. I make the call and about 4o minutes later, the tow truck arrives to pick me up.

One, it was about 40 degrees and I am wearing short sleeves. By the time he arrived, my fingers were slightly numb and my teeth will not stop chattering.

Two, my phone died maybe five minutes after I called the Verizon representative. This means that had the truck driver not been able to find the bar, I would have been boned.

Three, it is about 2 AM and I notice a cop at the corner, staring at me in my car mighty hard.

I’m not stupid enough to try and face down Murphy twice in one night. So when I saw the truck pull into the parking lot, I was so happy that it’s ridiculous. Best part of all? The tow was completely free of charge.

So Verizon, if I could, I would ask you to be my Valentine for life.

Sincerely,

A Very Satisfied Customer

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  1. February 13, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    What a fantastic story!
    I just left Verizon for At&t (yes, I did it for the iPhone), but I never once had a bad experience with Verizon. I had no idea they offer that roadside assistance though. That’s pretty awesome.

    Glad you got home safely!!

    It makes me sad that I would have to leave Verizon for AT&T to get my iPhone, they’ve been so good to me the last 3 years. Believe me, I was too.

  2. Jen
    February 16, 2009 at 5:41 AM

    Lol. Wow, there’s a lot of car trouble on Friday the 13th. Luckily, I stayed home most of that day. I never really paid much attention to it since Murphy usually stops by to piss or poo on my head about once a week, at the least. God do I hate car trouble.

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