Home > Uncategorized > Then We’d All Make Margaritas*

Then We’d All Make Margaritas*

I can’t…

Whistle. Bring myself to ever go on another blind date. Watch Fox News without laughing or wanting to hit something. Think with my head instead of my heart. Help pacing while I think.

I can…

Tie a cherry stem with my tongue. Freestyle dance (there’s a reason I like the Step Up series). Remember laughing at Nightmare on Elm Street and Child’s Play as a little kid, even more so when I got the jokes. Teach 6 year-olds to read and write. Give fantastic massages.

I won’t…

Ever sleep more than than 5 hours without being sick and/or crashing. Stop thinking that the only good thing to ever come from McDonald’s is their crispy chicken sandwich. Play against the roommie in Call of Duty if I can help it.  Apologize for loving True Blood while hating Twilight with equal passion.

I will…

Always try and help someone. Never be able to go to Barnes & Noble without acting like a kid at their first Christmas. Always prefer talking to texting. Never understand the beliefs of some of my family. Never eat cereal with milk. Always sing (not say) the French alphabet.

I shouldn’t…

Enjoy getting drunk and playing Dungeons & Dragons. Be proud of the fact that I earned $40 at a strip club when it was the men’s turn to give lap dances. Be even more proud that I have made women jealous of fruit. Use the words “fuck” or “piss” so much. Enjoy flustering people. Put myself down as much as I do. Be so terrified at the thought of teaching high school.

I should…

Destroy the video a friend has of me singing and dancing to High School Musical on my iPod. Not be so tempted to eat PB & J. Have my replacement iPhone by now. Be able to spell weird without a spell check. Watch the Sun rise more often. Make a cake.

Cake I made shortly after the breakup. Easily one of the prettiest I've ever made from scratch.

Cake I made shortly after the breakup. Easily one of the prettiest I've ever done from scratch.

Inspired by this

*Title comes from one of my mom’s saying that goes like this: “Instead of those shoulda, coulda, wouldas just remember that if ifs and oughts were tequila and salt then we’d all make margaritas.” Yeah she’s a strange one.

**Yes, I do recognize the “pot, kettle, black” in that.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. phampants
    July 17, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Not sure what I want to know more. The $40 you made or the video…

  2. July 17, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    awesome post 🙂

    that cake looks scrumptious!

  3. X
    July 17, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    *makes mental note to do one of these posts soon*
    Ah Kendall, you never cease to make me wish that there were more people like you in the world

  4. July 21, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    Mmm. Cake. Looks delish!

    So many of these things on the list are just like me. I *hate* milk in my cereal, and Fox News is ridiculous! Those are just two. You can ponder the rest.

    (But clearly I prefer texting, ha.)

  1. July 28, 2009 at 8:46 AM

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