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Sometimes I Wonder

The entire year I was applying and interviewing and waiting and interviewing and OH MY GOD, WHY HAVEN’T THEY MADE UP THEIR MINDS YET! yet waiting some more, I thought long and hard about how much good I wanted to do as a teacher.

Naive? Maybe.

I don’t regret it for a second.

Did I worry that I would be too young for them to respect?

Yes.

Did I worry that I would have such a bad experience that I would be turned off teaching?

Yes.

Did I let it really bother me?

Have you been reading this blog at all? No.

I remember my final interview with the principal here and her asking me about my temperament. I told her I was an optimist. To the point of being a cautious idealist. All attempts to curtail this impulse have failed spectacularly.

The day I got that blessed envelope stating my internship application had been approved?

I state here with no shame whatsoever that there was a slipper-aided version of The Running Man.

Other than some problems adjusting initially (going from elementary to high school students, such problems were anticipated), my first semester here has been great. I have actually found myself having fun dealing with all the stresses that are part and parcel of the job. Although, it has caused me to forget once twice a ridiculous amount of times that I am still a college student.

Not to sound like my mother  but I’ve found my groove. My students respect AND like me. My coworkers are absolutely fantastic with me, showing me the ropes. And I may have a contract waiting in May because I wasn’t having enough trouble deciding my future as it was which is awesome.

Will teaching be what I do the rest of my life? Maybe. I have rough ideas bouncing around for a set of novels and a cookbook so we’ll see what happens there.

For now though, I have 15 seniors about to come in through the door. Who are dreading the idea of a group project. Which I find privately hilarious. I am a bit of a sadist. I am merely easily amused. Ah and here come the despodent angels now.

They see me smirking at them.

They feel nervous.

On the inside, I am cackling.

Well duty calls, so long kids.

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  1. December 8, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    Hi. Just found your blog. I love this post.

    I’ve been teaching college for a couple of years now and there’s always talk among the TAs about how hard it can be for younger teachers to claim authority. I call BS on that – has little to do with how old you are and everything to do with how confident you are. I can see you’ve already found that out, though 🙂

    Cheers for the sadism. I think the more we pull our students out of their comfort zones while they’re in the relative safety of the classroom, the better equipped they to deal with challenges once they get out into the real world.

    It’s a good thing my students don’t know that sometimes I do things/have them do things not despite the fact that it makes them uncomfortable, but BECAUSE it makes them uncomfortable.

  2. December 9, 2009 at 12:31 AM

    Go for broke bro. Keep doing your thing. Don’t go too hard on those kids though. Remember, you were in their shoes not too long ago.

  3. December 15, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    So glad to see you found something you truly enjoy – even if life eventually takes you another route. I always envy the patience teachers seemingly have and the joy they get from watching students succeed.

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