Home > Uncategorized > Walking The Line: On Being A Bastard And Loving It

Walking The Line: On Being A Bastard And Loving It

There’s been a bit of talk around the blogosphere lately about how people don’t read blogs to hear about YOU. And of course, there is that old accusation of blogging cliques and how you have to develop a persona if you want to build any sort of friendships.

Folks, what you see here is what you get.

I try to be a nice person like most of us do.

The common mistake people make with that sentence is that they key in on the word nice and ignore everything else.

No dear friends, the key word there is try.

To give a bit of background, back when I was but a wee Kendall (ages 12-15) I didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything. Guys wanted to start trouble? I’d say “let’s go.” I skived off more homework than I did even if I breezed through tests. It wasn’t so much that I ran with the wrong crowd as I pretty much told the world to piss off. It was also around this time that my mom realized I had issues, too bad it was kinda like water on the ashes from the bridge.

Obviously I grew out of that dark patch.

The kicker is that Bastard Kendall is still there, muffled but still there. He may have learned that loyalty is not a pipe dream. That empathy is not weakness. And that you can be a nice person.

I generally try and keep that part of me under lock and key. I like being the nice guy who tries to help everybody. Cynicism only leads to bad places and I’ve had enough of that for one lifetime. I like being the one who keeps others smiling with the off-the-wall things he says and does. I enjoy making people happy.

Doesn’t mean I will not tell someone where to get off.

Tact?

I think it; I say it. That has always been my way.

The problem is that certain people apparently think that because I am so nice 99% of the time, they get the idea in their head that they can run roughshod all over me. In those times, I let the asshole out.

Basically I have three main modes.

1. ) If you’re my friend, you’re as good as family and there is almost nothing I won’t do for you. Need someone to cater your party but don’t have the cash? I’ve got you. Have editing you need? No problem. Flat tire? I’ll be out to you shortly.

2.) If I don’t know you, I’ll be friendly if a bit distant. You’ll get my normal snarkiness and a diluted form of my dirty humour.

3.) If I don’t like you, then expect apathy on my part unless you really need something. This whole guilt thing is still a bit too overwhelming at times I suppose.

Am I a good person? Yes. Am I a nice one? Eh, most of the time.

I am the guy who used to pop off at the wrong move and I am the one who goes gaga around any small child.

And I’ve learned to accept it.

Can you?

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  1. Ari
    March 3, 2010 at 2:13 PM

    Awesome post! I try to be a nice person, but I’m not a doormat. I blog because I enjoy it and its an outlet. I’ve met some wonderful people through it, but I’m not here to impress people or participate in a popularity contest. I am who I am – if you like it and want to be friends then peachy – if not, then ok. It seems as though things tend to get a bit cliquish in blogland, and I do my best to keep my nose out of it.

  2. March 3, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    i think you’ve got the right plan down. it’s awesome to be a nice, good person – but we all only have so much energy and that needs to be expended on worthwhile people. sometimes worthwhile people still need a kick in the bum to remind them to continue to be worthwhile

  3. March 3, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    “Doesn’t mean I will not tell someone where to get off.”

    Yea, this is the same with me. I’m really friendly & helpful and I try to be a resource…. but I’m a stage manager at heart. I speak my mind, I’m straight forward, I know how to give a solid “shape up or ship out” speech and I’m not short on follow through.

    That and a healthy sense of humour are probably why I don’t get dragged into blog drama =)

  4. March 3, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    I don’t think there is a such thing as a nice person, I mean 100% of the time. The sad truth is we live in a world that just doesn’t always allow for us to be nice. It would be way too exhausting. We can a;; do our best to be nice but seriously it can be so challenging at times.

  5. March 3, 2010 at 10:15 PM

    I think you’ve got a good balance. I tend to be nice to absolutely everyone, even mean people (to an extent) and it gets to me. I try, thinking it’ll pay forward or something. I don’t really expect them to love and adore me, although that would be nice. I just want them to wake up and realize the world doesn’t run on self-absorption. If I kill ’em with kindness, maybe they’ll have a moment of clarity. Maybe. That, or I’ll go off the deep end and take ’em all out. I kid. I kid.

  6. March 4, 2010 at 12:11 AM

    My problem is that I always have to consider that my parents and grandparents read it so there is always self censorship.

  7. March 4, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    I’ll take you however you are! Hehe. Really, we all need a good combination of nice and bitch, if you ask me. Keeps us all more down to earth rather than oblivious to everything or bitter and cynical at all times.

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