Posts Tagged ‘exam hell’

Wednesday Workshop: Why I So Often Describe Myself As A Failure

December 11, 2008 5 comments

It’s that time again, my freaky darlings. My prompt this week goes as follows:

3.) Describe a “new road” you’ve taken in your life.

Originally I was going to do the “talking mouse” prompt but that’s kind of taken a life all its own. So this is a tide-over so to speak. I promise to put up my short story once it’s finished.


I have often said that I feel college has made me dumber but most people don’t realize how little I am exaggerating that statement.

In January/February of my senior year of high school, I received a letter from the University of Florida offering me a full scholarship. Needless to say I jumped on it. I arrived not knowing a soul and by the time November rolled around, it had become my home. As an old friend put it, “Florida was my home, North Carolina was just where I grew up.”

However, I was struggling to pass one class and was averaging a low C in another, my other twp classes I was coasting with a low B. Knowing my average could handle a C much more than it could a failing grade, I skipped a review section and end up missing the announcement about a change in final exam time to study for the class I was afraid to fail.

I missed that final and thus failed that class. The one dim ray of light was that maybe my hard work had paid off and I managed to scrape a passing grade in the one I studied my ass for. No dice. About a week later, I receive a letter dismissing for poor academic achievement.

I applied for readmission that spring. Denied. And right after spring break, had to move out of the dorm. I had told no one about this so when that time came I made a decision and started my brief stint as a homeless person.

I’m not going to go into all the details because I’m still too ashamed to talk about it as only Tinkerbell and Eva know everything about those days. All I will say is that this period ended with me being arrested for vagrancy.

I came back to North Carolina, sick with guilt, at least mildly traumatized, and with only a promise not to do so keeping me from ending my life. I am completely serious when I state that Tinkerbell saved me back then.

So come January, I took about 17 hours of community college classes in attempts to be readmitted to UF. However, the past year had taught me to always have a backup plan and a backup for that backup and applied to the University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill as well as several other schools just in case. It was during one of those community college classes that I became friends with Eva.

Because of my distraction from studying for midterms that I failed to doublecheck whether my transcripts had been sent to UF in time for the cutoff date. The word ‘failure’ seems to be pathetically common in my life.

However I was admitted to UNC and began making plans to share an apartment with the Bait come May. My educational life was finally getting back on track. But there was a serious snag in regards to my personal life.

But that story has largely been told here and here.

I can’t believe I even admitted to half of this. I can’t but feel like I have some rather pointed comments coming my way. All I can say to those who wish to do so is that you cannot say anything, and I mean anything, that I had not thought to myself multiple times over.

I am proud to admit though that I’ve maintained at least a 3.6 for the past three semesters (including the summer) and am on track to graduate on time in the spring of 2010.

I’ve come a long way from where I was this time last year. But at least I know who I am and what I am capable of now. Most importantly, I’m happy with that knowledge.

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I Just Wanna Get Off

December 4, 2008 6 comments

And in my typical fashion, I caught the innuendo as soon as I typed that.

Ahem, anywho. For those that have been reading my blog, I’m sorry that I haven’t been up to snuff lately. I’ve come down with a bad case of LIFE recently. The doctors are still unsure whether or not it is terminal.

Don’t feel like I’m singling you out blogging friends, I’ve been largely MIA from Fbook, AIM, and Twitter for a while. With all I have going on right now, my internet life has suffered. Hopefully the load will ease up shortly.

With the semester ending in two weeks, professors have got the bright idea to load us down with work on top of the studying needing for final exams. Two research papers, a drama production, a final in Bio lab, and then four final exams.

Were this not enough, I got the bright idea in my head to work 35 hour weeks from the week before Thanksgiving until classes start back up in January. I want to crawl in a hole and die.

I don’t eat. I’m barely sleeping. And as I was shaving this morning, I found 3 grey hairs in my goatee. GREY?! I know that with the cold weather I have to use my cane at times but seriously. I’m too young for this shit.

A panic attack is imminent. I can just feel it creeping closer until I’m in full meltdown mode.

Sorry for the mini-rant folks, I promise that I will be back soon with something much more positive. Either the letters to Santa my students are writing or something equally…holiday-esque.

Happy trails!

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My To-Do List For This Week

October 7, 2008 4 comments

1. Die of a Starbucks overdose. The photo is me and my lab partner’s cups while in her car after a Bio II lab test today. I’ve had about four cups since midnight on Monday while she’s had three and two Rockstars.

2. Study. Study. Study. With my Bio, French Revolution, and European Lit exams next week, I’ll pretty much be living in my books. Hopefully I will be able to get much of my revising done during the week so I can actually enjoy my four day weekend. Fingers crossed on that one.

3. Watch the presidential debate tonight after Dancing With The Stars. While wearing my Obama t-shirt of course.

4. Decide what classes to take next semester.

It actually sounds simple when I write it like this. Basically what’s keeping me going is that I get to see Schoolhouse Rock Live next Friday and go to the NC State Fair on Saturday with Eva and Daybreak.

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The Times; They Are A Changin’

October 1, 2008 Leave a comment

It’s officially October which means it is time for me to begin preparing for Halloween. It also means warm apple cider, gorgeous trees, and lots of other fun activities.

Halloween. The time has come once again for my favourite holiday and I have a lot planned for this year. I am beginning to get what odds and ends I need for my costume. Sadly, I have to shave off my goatee to put on the makeup for my clown costume.

I only know of two bad things about this month.

One, it’s the first anniversary of when one of the women who raised me (Mami’s wife) died in a car crash. Last year was the first time in 19 years I did practically nothing for Halloween. The fact that I was all ready very very depressed before she died only made things harder to deal with.

Two, I have midterms from the 14th to the 18th. Sad fact of college life is that you will have exams. To quote Tinkerbell, “I think college has made me dumber.”

However, there is more than enough good to balance this out.

  1. Haunted Lab. I have been excited about this since my lab partner first convinced me to join the science club. I get to chase people with a chainsaw through the woods. What’s not to love about that?
  2. Halloween. Trick-or-treating. Baking cookies. Dressing up. Nightmare Before Christmas. So many wonderful memories.
  3. The elementary school I work at is having a costume contest for the kids the night before Halloween and I get to be one of the judges.
  4. Daybreak is turning 4 on the 24th! Eva says she is going to probably cry that day and bemoans how old she is. I tell her she’s barely six months older than me to which she replies that’s still older which is all that matters. Women…
  5. Fall break! Granted, I have midterms right after but that’s a four day weekend for me to get in a last stretch of studying as well as try to unwind.
  6. Schoolhouse Rock Live with my kids. ‘Nuff said.
  7. “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” Again, ’nuff said.
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