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Posts Tagged ‘halloween’

Horrors from my Childhood

October 30, 2009 3 comments

I discovered something about myself during a trip through a haunted house this past weekend.

I hate clowns.

Chainsaws, blood, fantastically realistic intestines? No effect.

Walk through a tunnel with no light whatsoever and a rather…interesting sounding moans? I laugh.

Let me turn around and have a clown inches from my face? I freak the fuck out.

Now me being me, this was troublesome. So I thought about it, trying to figure out where this irrational (in my mind) fear came from.

I would say partially from Poltergeist (you know the scene) but the parody from Scary Movie 2 killed any terror that inspired whatsoever.

Next possibly culprit would be Pennywise, The Dancing Clown. I blame this on Tim Curry knowing how to play a monster clown/eldritch abomination as well as he can play a sweet tranvestite from Transexual, Transylvania. The book is still worse.

Then I thought WAY back. To the 90’s onĀ  those Saturday nights where I would sit up with my sister to watch Nickeoldeon’s SNICK block. Specifically, Are You Afraid of the Dark? And it all clicked.

So submitted for your approval, I give you…

Happy Halloween ladies and gents.

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Basking in the Afterglow

November 1, 2008 5 comments

Well, that caps the end to another wonderful Halloween. I hope everyone enjoyed themselves with whatever (if any) plans they made. Before I get to the good parts of my own recap, I have a question. Why is it we no longer have flashlights while trick-or-treating? Seriously folks? Eva and Daybreak were both in white costumes and we still had a flashlight while I carried a glow stick around my neck. It would seem like common sense should dictate…

dark costume = the thought that I need something to show people I’m here.

I was carrying a sleeping Daybreak when we saw the blue lights of police sirens. As we got closer, we could see a man being given CPR on the curb while three feet ahead a truck had wrapped its front end around a stop sign. Safety first, folks.

Aside from hoping that man would be OK though, our night was fantastic. Although I did have a mild panic attack.

We were making one of our last house stops when we notice Daybreak is getting sleepy. Since my car was still a few blocks away, I just held her as we walked. One woman, in her late 20s at the oldest, sees me with a little girl in a ballerina costume with a woman dressed up as a witch with her arm around my waist and laying her head on my shoulder.

Woman: “Aww your daughter is so cute.”

Me: (not thinking about what I’m saying) “Yes she is.”

Eva: (trying not to laugh) “Thank you Ma’am, but now we need to get her home and to bed.”

When she has Daybreak buckled in the booster seat, she finally looks at me and asks, “Your daughter?”

As she voices this question, I had my jester’s hat off and was in the process of cleaning the makeup from my face. In a moment that was pure Kendall for the world, I stab the paper towel I was using right in my eye in surprise. I think quickly and when I realize what she is referring to, my eyes widen.

This is not the first time I claimed Daybreak as my daughter without thinking about it. Maybe my subconscious and my heart had claimed her long ago, they were just waiting for my head to catch up. Looking at her small form sleeping, I knew it didn’t matter.

I looked Eva dead in the eye, and said. “Yes.”

The smile that drew from her was quite simple one of the brightest I had ever seen.

After cleaning up from breakfast this morning, we did a count of how much a haul we scored last night. Eva gave up trying once she got to 200.

Daybreak: “Papa, you’re our good luck charm every year now.”

Me: “Stick with me Kiddo, and we’ll score enough candy to last until the next year.”

Daybreak: “Mmm me like. Mommy, can we have some now?”

Eva: “After lunch, yes.”

Daybreak: “Awww, that’s no fair.”

Me: (whisper) “We’ll sneak some later.”

Eva: “I heard that!”

Ah good times, makes me look forward to next year. Now I need to wait out this sugar rush and then head to my hometown for the weekend. Take care everyone. Please try and avoid the diabeetus.

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"Will You Be My Neighbour?"

October 31, 2008 7 comments

Here’s the skinny. I’m walking home from work when I notice a man of about middle age across from a jack-o-lantern display. I would have turned away and kept walking were it not for the fact that he carried a large white sign that proclaimed DO AWAY WITH HALLOWEEN. Even better, he very very much resembled Fred Rogers.

For those of you who are new here, I love Halloween. It’s even more exciting than Christmas to me. So saying I was a tad disturbed by this would be an understatement. After the debacle with the two McCain supporters, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now.

You would think.

So yet again I meander up to this protester and ask him what issue he takes with this holiday.

Kendall versus the Protester. Take Two. Ohhhhh…LET’S GET READY TO RUMMMMBLE!

Me: Excuse me Sir, but what does Satan have to do with Halloween?

Mr. Rogers: It is a Pagan holiday and has no place in a Christian country.

Me: I suppose that logic makes sense were it not for two things.

Mr. Rogers: And what would those be, young man?

Me: One, this isn’t a Christian country. Two, one of the biggest holidays of the Christian calendar started off as a pagan holiday.

Mr. Rogers: Son, words change meaning all the time. Christmas is no longer a pagan holiday. I personally do not see the good in it from a spiritual or mental point of view.

Me: I think Halloween has become our one holiday where there is no better meaning. It’s just meant to be fun.

Mr. Rogers: On that we agree, however, I don’t feel comfortable with the fact there is nothing to really celebrate. It’s merely an excuse to scare the dickens out of other folks.

Me: I can respect that stance. I’ve known families who would do other things on Halloween since they didn’t agree with it. But now that I think about it, I think there is a greater lesson to Halloween.

Mr. Rogers: And what would that be Son?

Me: That no one should take themselves too seriously.

And the Mr. Rogers look-alike chuckled at that one, agreeing on this point. We ended up chatting for a few more minutes until I said I had to go.

Me: Sir, may I ask you a question?

Mr. Rogers: Go right ahead.

Me: Will you be my neighbour?

Mr. Rogers threw his head back and laughed. He looked at me with a smile and said, “I get that a lot.”

So today I learned the meaning of Halloween. Or puzzled it out I suppose would be more accurate. At least it’s better than waiting for the Great Pumpkin to rise. Poor Linus.

The moral of today’s story? Don’t take yourself so seriously. If only for this one night of the year.

And in the spirit of that lesson, I shall leave you with a rather appropriate song from my favourite movie of all time.

Happy Halloween Folks!

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And I’m Not Even Blaming My Dog

October 26, 2008 1 comment

Dear Internet,

I know. I know. I haven’t written anything since Thursday and even that was just passing along the Kreativ Blogger Award. I have an excuse and I promise it’s better than any cock-and-bull story you ever told your teachers/parents/bosses/various disappointees.

As some of you may or may not know, I kind of had a packed weekend between Daybreak’s 4th birthday party yesterday morning/afternoon at her Grandma’s and the Haunted Lab Friday night and last night.


Friday:

7:25 Educational Theory Lecture

9:00 Theater Appreciation – usually a fun class as there is a lot of improv but this was mostly a lecture day. I ended up surfing the internet instead of listening. Oops. Did watch the last two acts of Medea though. All throughout, “Cruella De Vil” was playing through my head.

12:00-3:30: In the Lab building, making a maze, hanging plastic to block off hallways, decorating each individual scene. I have never had to move so many tables in my life.

3:30-4:30: Me and The Ginger hit up places like the mall, Wal Mart, Target, trying to sell ourselves. The Ginger got hit on. As she was wearing a short white dress with a good bit of cleavage showing, she was hit on a lot. She was pissed; I was amused.

4:30-5:00: Eat a free chick fil-a sandwich and change into costumes, I practice with the chainsaw so I can start it within 20 seconds easily.

5:30-10:30: Showtime!

11:00: get home, catch up on missed calls, shower, then bed

Saturday

7:30-9: I make Daybreak a batch of cupcakes for her birthday then meet her and Eva for breakfast at Perkin’s in Durham. Yet again, I am the only black person in the joint. Eva makes many jokes at this. After that we hit the road for Eva’s mom’s place for the party.

9:30: Road trip to Eva’s mom’s for the party.

10:30-3:30: Arrive, help set up, the most hilarious game of duck-duck-goose ever, food, cake, presents, everyone mingles outside on the deck, at this point I have to head back for the second night of the haunted house.

5:00: Back in costume, chainsaw primed and ready, looking forward to chasing screamers across the parking lot again

7:24: I am chasing a woman down the sidewalk when I fail to the notice a puddle. My right leg slides inward and I hit the ground. Hard. End up spraining the knee. To my further embarrassment, this is caught on tape.

8:00: I have found a replacement and taught him what to do. I take over as a tour guide for the portion of our haunted house taking place in the woods. My basic job was to make my group of 10-15 people more paranoid than they all ready were. Judging by the shrieks and scattering later, I think I did my job well.

10:00: We pack it in for the night and we get to hear our total earnings for both nights. Over two grand, folks! That means we had over 400 people come through which is amazing.

10:30: We’re all hungry so we take about seven cars and basically take over the local Chico’s until 12 when we’re pretty much kicked out.

12:30: Finally home. Shower immediately then straight to bed.

Best quotes of the weekend:

M: What’s up negro…oh snap, you really are black! My bad, my bad.

K: (the most deadpan voice ever) Oh no, I been bit.

Me: (after hearing one girl say the haunted house wasn’t so bad) We’ll see about that. (run from my hiding spot with chainsaw in hand, scattering and screaming ensue)

Scared Girl: I’m not scared. I’m not scared.
Me (walking behind her with the chainsaw in the parking lot) Then why are you walking so fast?
Scared Girl: I’m not scared! (I rev the motor) AHHHHH! (takes off)

Me: We need to hit up Wal-Mart.
The Ginger: Why?
Me: Because there is no other place as scary. Just think of the mullets.

Daybreak: Papa, when are you and Mommy going to give me a little sister?

Eva(dancing with me at the party): I’m surprised Daybreak let me have you to myself for a few minutes.
Me: Your mom is excellent distraction.
Eva: Amen to that.

Shaner: Our MVP of the night, the man who had us laughing our asses off as he took off after people with a chainsaw. He made one man twice his size run to his car and lock himself in. Our psycho clown, Kendall A—.
Me: (standing up in the restaurant) You like me. (wipes away a fake tear) You really do like me.

So see Internet, I have a perfectly viable excuse for the lack of updates the last few days.

Better than saying “my dog ate them”.

Marching to the beat of my own drum,

– Kendall (The Odd Duck)

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No One Should Be Lonely…Not Even Scarecrows

October 11, 2008 2 comments

This was a conversation that took place when Eva and Daybreak came by for breakfast before we went shopping for Halloween goodies throughout Chapel Hill.

Daybreak: “Papa?”

Me: “Yes Daybreak?”

Daybreak: “Are you gonna have a scarecrow for Halloween?”

Me: “Most likely, why?”

Daybreak: “No reason, just askin’. Mommy?”

Eva: “Yes Honey?”

Daybreak: “Are we gonna have a scarecrow?”

Eva: “Yes, why?”

Daybreak: “Can our scarecrow and Papa’s scarecrow be together? That way, they’re not lonely.”

So I present to you, clothed and accessorized from the Good Will for under $30, Izzy and Lulu the Scarecrow

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The Times; They Are A Changin’

October 1, 2008 Leave a comment


It’s officially October which means it is time for me to begin preparing for Halloween. It also means warm apple cider, gorgeous trees, and lots of other fun activities.

Halloween. The time has come once again for my favourite holiday and I have a lot planned for this year. I am beginning to get what odds and ends I need for my costume. Sadly, I have to shave off my goatee to put on the makeup for my clown costume.

I only know of two bad things about this month.

One, it’s the first anniversary of when one of the women who raised me (Mami’s wife) died in a car crash. Last year was the first time in 19 years I did practically nothing for Halloween. The fact that I was all ready very very depressed before she died only made things harder to deal with.

Two, I have midterms from the 14th to the 18th. Sad fact of college life is that you will have exams. To quote Tinkerbell, “I think college has made me dumber.”

However, there is more than enough good to balance this out.

  1. Haunted Lab. I have been excited about this since my lab partner first convinced me to join the science club. I get to chase people with a chainsaw through the woods. What’s not to love about that?
  2. Halloween. Trick-or-treating. Baking cookies. Dressing up. Nightmare Before Christmas. So many wonderful memories.
  3. The elementary school I work at is having a costume contest for the kids the night before Halloween and I get to be one of the judges.
  4. Daybreak is turning 4 on the 24th! Eva says she is going to probably cry that day and bemoans how old she is. I tell her she’s barely six months older than me to which she replies that’s still older which is all that matters. Women…
  5. Fall break! Granted, I have midterms right after but that’s a four day weekend for me to get in a last stretch of studying as well as try to unwind.
  6. Schoolhouse Rock Live with my kids. ‘Nuff said.
  7. “It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.” Again, ’nuff said.
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