This idea comes from PQ who you should all start reading now if you aren’t all ready. Because she is seven different flavours of awesome.
I LOVE…that this frigid weather is an excuse for me to wear the toboggan I got for Christmas. Because being able to wear one of my hats to work is ALWAYS a great way to start the day. Yes, I do have a hat fetish.
I LOVE…that so many people have commented, tweeted, texted, and/or e-mailed me about writing a review of the Pocket Gal for next week’s TMI Thursday. Done.
I LOVE…that the fabulously badass Liz from It’s Unbeweavable, in a spur of the moment Gchat conversation, gave me the e-mail for Dave at Eden Fantasys to talk about the possibility of being a reviewer for male sex toys. Being paid to write? Awesome. Being paid to write about fun things that I can get off to? Crazy. Being paid to write about things that get me off and that are sent to me for free? Crazy awesome indeed.
I LOVE…that my flu has finally calmed the fuck down and I feel human again. Being able to eat stuffed french toast from IHOP? It gives me a happy. In my mouth.
I LOVE…that there was a 2 hour delay which means that I was able to spend time with The Girl at IHOP for said french toast. The Girl who I have only seen twice since Monday. And who I may have spun around and made out with in the parking lot for a tick.
I LOVE…that at about 5:20, me and Scarlett will be boarding a plane to New York City to see Wicked tomorrow. On BROADWAY. And going BACKSTAGE! Stupidly excited about this people. Like may just pee myself a little. That’s forgiveable in this instance, right?
I LOVE..that I’ve managed to clean my house from top to bottom while home sick. It helped beat the boredom and keep my mind off cramps. We’re talking sweeping, mopping, dusting, organizing, and general pick-up.
I LOVE…that I am now guaranteed to graduate cum laude and if I can get A+ in my last two classes this semester, magna cum laude.
I LOVE…that while I had so much time at home, I made a bunch of new friends on the Internets and especially around 20SB. You guys are absolutely fantastic. To everyone who sent me get well wishes, suggestions on books, tech help, and just generally made me smile or laugh, you rock.
I LOVE…that my seniors made me a huge welcome back card when they heard I would likely be back to work today. Considering how much work I’ve had them do since August, this made me grin like an idiot.
Dear Friday, if I could I would totally motorboat you. That is just how awesome today is.
Keep up the good work.
No you’re not going crazy.
Well, no more so than you all ready were.
Which considering the fact that you wrote a similar letter to your younger self not long ago (from your perspective) is not saying all that much to say the least.
As I know we like to end on a positive note, I’ll start off with the low points.
Right now, you’re kinda basking in Eva’s presence and the first thoughts that you could honestly see yourself spending your life with this woman are forming. You think that your short-lived breakup earlier in the month was because she was worried about getting too close. In a way, she was telling you the truth but it’s still going to fuck you up when you find out the full reasoning behind it all.
Despite the fact that your days together are numbered I don’t really regret it. Mood whiplash doesn’t BEGIN to describe the summer of 2009 when it comes to relationships. You’re going to go from depressed to angry to bitter to standoffish. As of December, you two aren’t friends by any means but you can at least be in the same room as her without any real anger on your part. Compared to June, this is an immense improvement.
You know you would say right now that you could never go through with a one night stand? Yeah, you’ll find out later in the year that that’s not so clear cut. Will you regret it? Yes. But let me just go on record as saying that we learn from it and move on.
Story of our life right?
You’re a student teacher at a nearby high school, English of course, and loving it. In your normal absentmindedness, you ocassionally forget that you are, in fact, still a college student. The first semester went well and you even have Skittles’ big sister as one of your students. There is most definitely a family resemblance there. I’ll let you work out for yoruself what that means in August. Cue maniacal laughter here.
You and The Bait are going to get into a fight on Valentine’s Day and he’s going to go AWOL, pretty much ruining any kind of friendship between you, him, and Pippi in the process. You rally behind Pippi and if you two weren’t all ready as close as siblings, then you are now. You and Scarlett are now renting a house together about 20 minutes outside Chapel Hill and living with this woman has been an experience to say the least.
Speaking of Scarlett, when she and Marilyn take you out for your 21st birthday please for the love of all that is sacred DO NOT DRINK THAT THIRD MARGARITA. The results will not be pretty. Whatsoever. I know you still will but at least you’ll have learned to accept your limits.
On the relationship front, well that one has been a bit of a wild ride. As I said, you and Eva are done. That girl you have a one-nighter with? You attempt to start a relationship and it looks like things are going well until August. On a trip to visit her at the beach, you think things are going great. About three days after you head back home, she calls you and says maybe you shouldn’t see each other any more.
That she slips and calls you a nigger kills any resistance you may have had to the idea.
She later apologizes and you find out some of her best friends raised a shitstorm once you were gone. You say it’s OK but there’s no chance of you even being friends after that one.
Apparently, you do have some deal-breakers. That word is one of ’em.
You then go through a phase where you aren’t the biggest fan of women. The fact that the majority of your friends, including your roommate, are female doesn’t really seem to affect you. Some even agree with you that a lot of women are unpleasant. It was kind of hilarious in hindsight.
Then you start going to the high school for orientation and the first teacher workdays and meet The Girl. You become friends and slowly you realize you are attracted to her and that it’s a mutual thing. You start that relationship just before Halloween. Neither of us is in any emotional condition for something serious so we are taking it slow.
In terms of our education, you are going to bust your ass. It pays off though, you are almost guaranteed to graduate cum laude. That GRE you are just starting to worry about now? While the general test isn’t for a few more weeks, you have taken the GRE Lit exam and let’s just say you do exceptionally well. Six more credits until we have those degrees in our hands in May.
In the past year you’ve…
- made a ton of new friends, both in real life and in the blogging world.
- gone to Nashville, TN with Pippi to perform. You also meet one of your favourite artists.
- volunteer at a rape crisis center.
- competed in a Call of Duty tournament with Scarlett.
- put your Daddy Issues largely to rest.
- worked at a camp for creative writing
- given serious thought to joining the Navy after graduation.
- traveled to New York to see Marilyn get married. In accordance with our usual luck, you end up being roped into helping cook when the catering company lets them down.
All in all, 2009 has been a pretty kickass year. Considering what’s planned so far, like starting grad school, going to see Wicked, buying a video camera, and perhaps finally meeting some blogger friends in person, 2010 is shaping up to be even better.
So have fun this year. And you will. Because I still remember doing it. Which means you have no choice in the matter. Isn’t time travel nifty?
In closing, remember to balance work with fun. Depends on your friend when you need them. Try not to be so afraid to let people in. Always keep your hope alive, my friend. I don’t know what 2010 will be like but I have high, apple-pie-in-the-sky hopes. To paraphrase a movie you’ll see this year and love, “thanks for the adventures and now it’s time to start another one.”
Kendall (age 21.92)
P. S. I forgot to mention this earlier which is pretty unforgivable. At one point this year, Shaner takes you all on a trip to ECU’s anatomy labs to dissect cadavers. You hold a heart in your hand. Let me repeat that, you hold a FRICKIN’ HUMAN HEART in your HAND! And it was glorious.
The entire year I was applying and interviewing and waiting and interviewing and OH MY GOD, WHY HAVEN’T THEY MADE UP THEIR MINDS YET! yet waiting some more, I thought long and hard about how much good I wanted to do as a teacher.
I don’t regret it for a second.
Did I worry that I would be too young for them to respect?
Did I worry that I would have such a bad experience that I would be turned off teaching?
Did I let it really bother me?
Have you been reading this blog at all? No.
I remember my final interview with the principal here and her asking me about my temperament. I told her I was an optimist. To the point of being a cautious idealist. All attempts to curtail this impulse have failed spectacularly.
The day I got that blessed envelope stating my internship application had been approved?
I state here with no shame whatsoever that there was a slipper-aided version of The Running Man.
Other than some problems adjusting initially (going from elementary to high school students, such problems were anticipated), my first semester here has been great. I have actually found myself having fun dealing with all the stresses that are part and parcel of the job. Although, it has caused me to forget once twice a ridiculous amount of times that I am still a college student.
Not to sound like my mother but I’ve found my groove. My students respect AND like me. My coworkers are absolutely fantastic with me, showing me the ropes. And I may have a contract waiting in May because I wasn’t having enough trouble deciding my future as it was which is awesome.
Will teaching be what I do the rest of my life? Maybe. I have rough ideas bouncing around for a set of novels and a cookbook so we’ll see what happens there.
For now though, I have 15 seniors about to come in through the door. Who are dreading the idea of a group project. Which I find privately hilarious. I am a bit of a sadist. I am merely easily amused. Ah and here come the despodent angels now.
They see me smirking at them.
They feel nervous.
On the inside, I am cackling.
Well duty calls, so long kids.
So I’ve been a high-school teacher for a little over a month now and…well, you know how they say you never really understand someone’s situation until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes? Yeah, I’ve walked a marathon and can now see my piggies wiggling through the shoe. That said, to all high school teachers out there and most especially my own from way back when, God bless you ladies and gents.
In a moment of what I know recognize to be utter stupidity (certain people make keep sarcasm to themselves here, they know who they are) I thought “why not?” and decided to keep my full-time job at the restaurant. I figure if I could do it while working with the firsties, what difference would 3 days and three extra hours make?
Were it possible, I would go back in time and pop myself in the mouth.
Never let it be said that I am not headstrong at times. Basically it took me having several minor panic attacks and one painfully uncomfortable conversation with a more-than-slightly concerned boss to see the light. So Friday night, I worked the bar for the last time and said goodbye to the job I’ve held since I first came to Chapel Thrills. The extra cash was nice but thankfully, I don’t need it nor is it worth me having zero life outside of work, my internship, and classes.
Speaking of the internship, teaching high schoolers and especially seniors has been a rather…interesting experience this past month. A few slackers, one or two kids in need of a swift kick in the ass, but all in all a good bunch of sarcastic lunatics. Just my kind of people. So far the only somewhat-serious incident was a kid in my freshmen class who came in drunk and with some JD in a thermos.
Can you all keep a secret? It took every ounce of willpower in my body to keep a straight face while I walked them to the office. Especially when they began to talk about the porn parody of Sarah Palin along with rather amusing hand gestures. See, I can be an adult if I have to. I at least waited until I was in a bathroom to laugh long and hard.
This is going to be a fun year.
If I don’t get fired first.
Take a deep breathe, loosen up, and get to work.
You worked your ass off for this position and have worked the past 8 months to make it happen.
You have dreamed of being a teacher most of your life, now it’s time to step up.
You are prepared to handle the responsibility.
You know you are crazy enough to have your students enjoy your classes.
You, sir, have an interesting year ahead of you.
So don’t worry. You’ve got this.
1. Logic is subjective. Purely. If a six year-old thinks it more convenient to convince you that a seven feet long worm really did eat their homework, then they will do so without hesitation. Some will ask if you were dropped on your head when you express disbelief.
2. When you’re asked if you want to see something cool, say no. Saying yes leads to craziness like having a paper bag filled with cat poo opened in your face.
3. Games are matters of life and death. Cries of “cheater!” and “sore looser!” run rampant. Attempts to change this are largely futile.
4. Dora the Explorer, Miley Cyrus, and the Power Rangers are gods. Any word against them merits severe ostracizing. References to “Kermit the Frog” are more often than not met with blank stares.
5. Buffy-speak is the new English. For example: “You’re mean, really mean…just–just…well you’re not nice!”
6. Tell almost any small child that you can and will show them how to make ice cream and they will worship the ground you walk on. However, be sure you are prepared to deal with the sugar highs that will inevitably result.
7. Do not dismiss a child’s concerns and worries just because they seem small to you, while an adult has the advantage of perspective a child does not. Do not ever just write it off.
8. Very little amuses primary-age children like things they would consider naughty. The word “crap” has been known to cause a case of the giggles lasting for several minutes. The word “shit”? To say nothing got accomplished is an understatement.
They’ve made me smile, laugh ’til I cried, and often wonder how someone could frown at something that endearing. I actually changed my major when I realized how much I enjoyed working with them over the past year. They are my firsties and damn if I won’t miss them.
Clark Kent: “How was your St. Patrick’s day Mr. Kendall?”
Me: “Just great CK, although it took me a while to wash the green out of my hair.”
Skittles: “Your hair was green?!”
Me: “Hey I’ve seen the pictures from yesterday, your face was green so don’t even.”
Group of little girls across from jungle gym: “Hey CK!” [cue giggles]
Skittles growls under her breath while CK looks like he’s praying for a hole to open up underneath him.
Me: “What was that all about?”
CK: “Well you see…uhm…”
Skittles: “Those…girls decided to kiss him yesterday because he’s isish.”
Me: “You mean Irish.”
Skittles: “That’s what I said. So now they always want to hang out with him.”
As I watched Skittles stare them down in all of her 3’4″ blond fury, I had a sudden daydream. She’s dressed in the white gi of Ryu from Street Fighter, two of the girls laid out cold at her feet while the last is on her last legs. Skittles roars and with a cry of “Shin Shoryuken!” uppercuts her while jumping into the land. The girl falls to the ground while Skittles pumps a fist in glory. Over her head the word PERFECT appears.
I shake my head to clear it and give a pitying look to a beet red CK.
Me: “Skittles, why don’t you two go seesaw or swing instead of glaring holes through other girls.”
She brightens up, taps CK on the shoulder, yells out “TAG!” before taking off. CK, with all the attention span of a 6 year-old boy, takes off after her yelling.
Who needs soap operas when you have first graders?