Posts Tagged ‘I’m all a-Twitter’

Spreadin’ The Love

May 29, 2009 5 comments

Thanks for the wonderful comments on yesterday’s post, you people make my heart sing a little.

Now for those of you on Twitter, you may have heard talk of a new show.

In a douchebag brilliant move, after Fox finally ended American Idol for this season (I watch the show mainly for the humour of auditions, sorry) they had a sneak-peek premiere. For a show that doesn’t start airing until September. Fuckers.

That show?


However, as I wasn’t watching TV that night I completely missed the airing. Then certain friends on Twitter were starting to talk about it. My interest? It was piqued.

So last night me and Scarlett sat in front of her laptop and watched the pilot on Hulu.

And again.

And again.

All of this culminated in a full rendition of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”.

A tall black guy and a short blond girl singing and then proceeding to dance around like drunken howler monkeys on a bad acid trip (just go with it). Always a good time at our house.

Moments like that make me really wish I had a video camera.

So what are you still waiting for? Go to Hulu. Now. Watch it. And join in the party. One that won’t leave you with a VD.

To my knowledge.

Here’s wishing you a happy Friday, my freaky darlings.

Just as she obviously is. Hello Nurse.

Just like hers obviously is. Hello Nurse.


When I Said “It’s Not You, It’s Me”? Yeah, I Lied.

April 20, 2009 11 comments

Dear Fbook,

It seems like so long ago that I bowed into peer pressure and joined you. We were awkward at first but then I started sending and receiving friend requests. I flirted through you. I kept track of news from my hometown. You connected me to the world outside of Gainesville.

By the time I was done with my first semester of college, I was a full member of your cult. I checked you about as much as a new mother checks her infant to be sure it is OK. For the longest time, you held my entire social calendar in your cleavage. These were the days where I was always up for a little motorboating.

But then I came back to NC and with that move, didn’t use you nearly as often. Our meetings went from multiple times daily to once a day to weekly then to monthly. The honeymoon phase of our relationship was over.

Quite honestly, there’s only so many times you can hear the “I have a headache” excuse before accepting the fact that the jig is up. So I pushed you to the side as an occasional fling but nothing more.

I still fooled around with you from time to time and for that I’m kind of sorry. Not emotionally involved enough for full-blown guilt. And while I’m being completely honest, I might as well go for the whole shabang. You see, there’s kind of another woman.

And by kind of I mean she doesn’t try to infect me with “applications”. Honey, if you’re going to give me diseases at least have the balls to call them Syph, Gono, and/or The Clap and be done with it. Please and thank you.

Nor does she have the people who I couldn’t stand back in high school friending me just to increase their friends list. Kendall don’t play that.


Is pretty much exactly how I feel for you these days. Don’t like it? Tough balls.

I know certain people will be disappointed that I’m no longer part of Zuckerberg’s orgy. But that’s OK. I’m sure they’ll get over it. And maybe, one day, they too may leave you high and dry. Maybe.

When I pressed the button to deactivate my account and saw you showed pictures of my friends in a desperation move to keep me? You only strengthened my resolve to free myself. When you asked was I sure about this, my only thought was “bitch please.”

I haven’t looked back.

Awaiting the day your server crashes,