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Posts Tagged ‘letters’

A Few Home Truths

May 28, 2009 7 comments

Dear Kendall,

This, my dear friend, is a wake up call. Or better yet, an intervention.

I know you’re broken. And I know you are cursing yourself for opening up and not listening to your head over your heart. I also know that you are thinking you’d have been better off without knowing Eva.

At the risk of sounding childish, “liar liar pants on fucking fire”.

You care too much about people to ever be aloof again. That time? It’s come and gone. Your days of actually being coldhearted? Over. That part of you is in the past, leave it there where it belongs.

I know you have all ready started the process of shutting people out. I’ll do you this favour and let you know that the people you’ve come to know are at once too stubborn and too protective to let you flag about all on your own. Even people you’ve never met in person have offered to help.

As for thinking you’d have been better off without Eva, and by extension Daybreak, you’re a dumbass. Did she hurt you? Incredibly. But in the end, you know now that you can make a relationship work. You also know that down the line, should you ever have a child you can do leagues better than your own father. That fear of turning out like him is a thing of the past.

It is OK to be angry. It is OK to be confused. Despite what you have trained yourself to believe, you do have the right to feel that way.

In spite of what you said during your rant to Tink, you do still believe in love. You are still an optimist at the core. Somewhere, buried beneath all the baggage and other trauma, is someone who believes that love is worth the risk and possible fallout. More importantly, that it doesn’t have to end in pain.

You still see the good in everyone. You still have the ability to forgive if someone is sincerely sorry. You are still a good man. You are still the same impulsive, headstrong, caring, and more than slightly quirky individual you were before all of this.

Don’t change that.

So stand up and walk forward with your head held high. People still think the world of you and I will be damned if you let them down.

You are stronger than this. Better.

Sincerely,

Your Self-Respect

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When I Said “It’s Not You, It’s Me”? Yeah, I Lied.

April 20, 2009 11 comments

Dear Fbook,

It seems like so long ago that I bowed into peer pressure and joined you. We were awkward at first but then I started sending and receiving friend requests. I flirted through you. I kept track of news from my hometown. You connected me to the world outside of Gainesville.

By the time I was done with my first semester of college, I was a full member of your cult. I checked you about as much as a new mother checks her infant to be sure it is OK. For the longest time, you held my entire social calendar in your cleavage. These were the days where I was always up for a little motorboating.

But then I came back to NC and with that move, didn’t use you nearly as often. Our meetings went from multiple times daily to once a day to weekly then to monthly. The honeymoon phase of our relationship was over.

Quite honestly, there’s only so many times you can hear the “I have a headache” excuse before accepting the fact that the jig is up. So I pushed you to the side as an occasional fling but nothing more.

I still fooled around with you from time to time and for that I’m kind of sorry. Not emotionally involved enough for full-blown guilt. And while I’m being completely honest, I might as well go for the whole shabang. You see, there’s kind of another woman.

And by kind of I mean she doesn’t try to infect me with “applications”. Honey, if you’re going to give me diseases at least have the balls to call them Syph, Gono, and/or The Clap and be done with it. Please and thank you.

Nor does she have the people who I couldn’t stand back in high school friending me just to increase their friends list. Kendall don’t play that.

This?

Is pretty much exactly how I feel for you these days. Don’t like it? Tough balls.

I know certain people will be disappointed that I’m no longer part of Zuckerberg’s orgy. But that’s OK. I’m sure they’ll get over it. And maybe, one day, they too may leave you high and dry. Maybe.

When I pressed the button to deactivate my account and saw you showed pictures of my friends in a desperation move to keep me? You only strengthened my resolve to free myself. When you asked was I sure about this, my only thought was “bitch please.”

I haven’t looked back.

Awaiting the day your server crashes,

Kendall